The one thing thats been eating up my mind for a long time now is the fact that i dont seem to have a life anymore. My day starts and ends with work... rather going to work. A few years ago i would'nt have dreamt that i, of all people, would go to work on a holiday! But sadly its happening :( Its amazing how we are sucked into this quagmire that is corporate life(or lack of life). It starts off slowly with a saturday at work and then slowly a sunday too and after 1 month you end up spending your weekdays, weekends and all holidays at work! Hell i've seen a few people who come to office on holidays because they cant visualize life without those cubicles.
I always believed that all those articles and stories about people burning out and stressing themselves out were exaggerated.. but after a few weeks of corporate life i can already see a few on the spiral path to burn out. I now truly understand why people flock to yoga and all sorts of spiritual stuff to rejuvenate themselves. I've realized that living in a cubicle can really screw around with your mind.
A few days back, Amma was in Chennai and i was showing her my apartment. The moment she went to our balcony the first thing she noticed was a nest on the tree. This particular nest was hardly 10 mts from the balcony but i had never noticed it until she showed it to me. I had however always noticed the large grandstand of the Madras Race Course whenever i went to the balcony. This might not mean anything to most people but it saddens me. To me it means that i've lost the habit of noticing the small things in life. Sadly we need grand and large artificial structures to arrest our mind. A small and delicate thing like a nest isnt good enough for us. All this reminded of a poem from my school days. This poem called "Leisure" captures my state of mind.
Leisure by W H Davies
What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare. No time to stand beneath the boughs And stare as long as sheep or cows. No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass. No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars like skies at night. No time to turn at Beauty's glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance. No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began. A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.